Survive an Affair

It is often possible, but difficult, to survive an affair. You as a couple have some hurdles in your path for your marriage to survive after an affair.

Initial Steps to Get Over An Affair

Desire to Repair Your Marriage and Heal From Betrayal

You have to really want to repair your marriage and heal from the betrayal, lies and cheating. This desire must be there on both of your parts, for without wanting to heal and repair your marriage, you may lose sight of your goal and falter.

Different Perceptions Create Different Experiences

Each of you probably has a different experience about what happened. Differences can occur on many planes. Some examples include:

• One of you has a clear idea of what you think were the problems leading up to the affair while the other of you might even think there were no problems.
• Even if you agree on the pre-infidelity issues, you might disagree about how you were trying to manage or repair those issues.
• One of you might think that you were supporting your spouse and the marriage by putting up with the stressors until:
  • …schooling was finished for one or both of you
  • …the promotion came through
  • …the new job came through
  • …the baby was out of diapers
  • …any other “big thing” was finished

  And the other of you might have thought that the stress and emotional distance meant that your marriage was bad and perhaps unsalvageable and it was only a matter of time until the divorce.

• You might feel that you put your partner above all else while your partner has other priorities such as work, friends, sports, or drinking.

Further Work to Survive Affair is Necessary

There are more steps in the long road to recovery after an affair, but the above steps give you a sense of how marriage healing begins.

Can you Survive an Affair?

Maybe you can repair your marriage after an affair, but it will take desire and effort on both your parts and the offending spouse will have to resolve to improve his or her character.

I wish you courage and persistence in putting your marriage back on the path to being a wonderful journey together.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Warmest regards,

Getting Marriage Help to Survive Affair

I have been counseling couples and relationships for over 40 years. Most of all, I have been helping couples who were dealing with infidelity to move on and survive after marital affairs. I can probably help you too.

I offer personal, individualized help in Baltimore, Maryland (in my Pikesville office) to couples from all over the world. I offer marriage counseling and marriage retreats. Please call my office line at 410-654-1300 or toll-free at 866-654-1300 to learn more.

Marriage Self-Help

You can also work with my self-help program, which gives steps and structure to repairing the awful effects of affairs and infidelity. Learn more about my self-help program Survive an Affair.