Thank you for the compliment and let me begin with a clarification. Yes, my name shows up when you search for marital counselor in Baltimore, Maryland. People often refer to me as a marriage counselor, which I am not. I am a licensed psychologist and I offer marital counselor services.
As a psychologist, most of my practice involves providing marital counseling at my office in Pikesville, Maryland, which is in metropolitan Baltimore.
Regarding your situation, I have to make assumptions based on other couples I've worked with since your wife's thoughts, feelings and behaviors are presented only from your point of view.
There are obviously many things even you don't know because your wife has not been truthful or complete in her communications to you. I would suspect that she has been thinking herself out of your relationship for quite some time.
Once she began to register complaints about you to her children, she probably had a built-in cheering squad. She could easily have found comfort in presenting herself as your victim, regardless of the truth about your relationship.
Frequently, the reason given for marital quality deteriorating is that one or both spouses stopped feeling "special" in the relationship. Although your description of your wife's behaviors could easily fit someone who has at least begun the early steps toward infidelity, this does not mean that she has.
Nevertheless, your marital relationship is seriously in danger, and might be beyond help:
- Can you get away together, away from other influences, and figure out if you can re-ignite the spark?
- Can you begin to be the best spouse you can be and give her loving attention without making a doormat of yourself?
- Can you afford to begin intensive marital counseling?
Answering these questions for yourself will give you a better idea of the hopefulness of your marital situation.
There is a story of a man who fixed his marriage single-handedly, all on his own. It might not help in your situation but it can give you an idea of possibilities: Fix an Unhappy Marriage.
