Advice Blog / About

My Beliefs as a Therapist Helping Marriages

I Believe in Marriage-Friendly Marriage Counseling

In addition to the meaning of seeing a licensed psychologist, and the importance of finding a good marriage counselor, you also want to be careful to find a marriage counselor who believes in keeping your marriage together.

I am Dr. Gunzburg. I live in Baltimore, Maryland. I am a psychologist providing marriage counseling. My belief and attitude support marriage-friendly marriage therapy.

What makes each therapist unique?
This will include:

  • …the beliefs each of us holds
  • …the emphasis each of us places on one relationship aspect versus another
  • …the way each of us presents and applies the theoretical and research information to your marriage or relationship problems.

Passive Therapists Versus Active & Marriage Therapists

Some marriage therapists are more passive while others are more active and directive. I am on the more active side. I don’t just sit back and let you argue or flounder – you’ve probably been doing too much of that anyway.

This brings me to some of my beliefs which directly impact the way I help relationships in trouble.

Some Of My Beliefs As A Therapist

My beliefs as a psychologist performing marriage therapy will have a direct effect on our counseling sessions. For that matter, the beliefs of whichever therapist you choose to help you work on your marriage will have a direct effect on the process and outcome of your counseling sessions. I suggest you inquire about the beliefs of any counselor you are thinking of working with in marriage therapy.

Live Up to your Highest Character and Ethics

I believe it is important to live up to your highest character and ethics.

A common complaint I have heard from some clients is that another marriage counselor justified or excused unethical behavior.

Work Out Your Marriage Relationship, If Possible

I believe it is important to work out your marriage relationship, if you are married, and if it is at all possible.

Some clients told meabout other marriage counselors who began treatment saying something like “I will consider this successful treatment whether you stay together or divorce.” I take a clear stand in favor of your marriage.

Learning Alternative Behaviors to Avoid Angry Feelings

I believe it is important to learn alternative behaviors to help you avoid angry feelings in the first place.

Some couples have told me that they were instructed by another counselor to “Let your anger out; don’t bottle up your feelings.”

I don’t mean that when you are angry you don’t show it. Instead, I intend to teach you how to reduce the frequency and intensity of your angry feelings so you mostly don’t feel angry in the first place, and then you don’t have to cover up your feelings.

Marriages Should be Partnerships and Friendships

I believe that partners should be best friends to each other and not treat each other like enemies.

The two of you are (or should be) in it for the long haul. How many years and months have you been together until now? You can learn to find the love again, and you can learn to treat each other respectfully and as best friends again.

Good Communication is Paramount

I believe it is important for your marriage that you learn good communication skills with each other.

Communication is very important for maintaining a good marriage. The good news is that communication skills are teachable. Learn how to communicate effectively in your marriage and you will already be improving your marriage.

Practice Makes Perfect So Be Careful What You Practice

I believe it is important for you to practice discussing personally difficult issues with each other under my guidance.

The message I hear too often goes something like “We got really good at talking to the marriage counselor and telling her our problems, but we never felt that our communication with each other improved.”

I am here to help you learn to communicate about difficult things with each other. I do not want to hold your hands while you discuss every difficult thing for the rest of your life – I want to teach you the skills you need so you and your partner can communicate together effectively over the long run.