Restore Trust After Infidelity
Infidelity Destroys Trust - Help Restore Trust
It goes without saying that an extra-marital affair destroys trust. You have to live a life of being trustworthy to provide authentic trust. It is not something one partner can “give” to the other.
Restoring Trust In Your Marriage
In order to restore trust in your marriage after an affair, you need to show your spouse that you are trustworthy.
Here are some tips to help you restore trust in your marriage after infidelity:
You Earn Trust over Time
Your spouse can beg or demand you to “trust me” ten or a thousand times without effect. Trust is something we either feel or don’t feel.
Our ability to trust may be shaped by our pasts, but if you or your spouse has been guilty of infidelity, nothing can save you from this fact: Trust died with the infidelity. Now it will take a major effort from both of you to rebuild trust in your marriage.
You Create a Love and Trust “Bank Account”
Think of your marriage as a love and trust bank account. Each “good” thing you do adds to the bank account and each “misdeed” is a withdrawal – some larger, some smaller.
Infidelity does more than partially deplete the account – infidelity creates a deficit, usually to the point of emotional-trust bankruptcy, or almost there.
Marriage Can Even Thrive After Infidelity
Just as credit ratings can be restored and someone who went bankrupt can transform into a financial success, so too can a marriage survive, and even thrive, after infidelity.
A comeback like this doesn’t happen by accident or by glossing over the situations that got you into trouble in the first place.
Make “Deposits” Into Your Love & Trust Bank Account
Make a concerted effort to make constant deposits into your love and trust bank account. Show your spouse you can be trusted by being accountable. Practice doing things in a transparent way.
Other ways to make deposits into your love and trust bank account include compliments and helping out your spouse. Help out with your spouse’s chores or responsibilities if possible. Take care of some errands. Follow through and show that you can be dependable.
I wish you much success in rebuilding your love and trust bank account.
Marriage Help to Survive Infidelity
I can help you repair your marriage and show you how to rebuild your trust. I help you go through the steps to deal with the wounds and create a better marriage.
I offer personalized marriage counseling or marriage retreats (marriage retreats begin with an intense program, ideal for out-of-towners). I counsel couples from all over the world in my office in Pikesville, which is in Baltimore, Maryland.
I also have self-help programs for marriages, including one that is specifically for couples who are learning how to Survive an Affair.