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Marital Affair in the Workplace

Infidelity & Sex That Begins in the Workplace

I often deal with infidelity in marriages and frequently it begins in the workplace.

Sexually Provocative: Is She Aware?

Did you want me, Mr. Harrison? Says a Provocatively Dressed Blonde to Her Uncomfortable Boss

I think the attached cartoon implies that the woman is aware of how sexually provocative she is and possibly delighting in the sexual discomfort she is provoking. The man seems quite aware of his own discomfort.

Based on my experience in working with marital affairs, both people, if interviewed after this scene, would be likely to deny any sexual tension in the workplace. The denial is part of the “game”.

Sexual Tension Origin in Your Workplace

Sexual activity arising at the job can begin with many things, such as:

  • boredom
  • conflicts at home
  • other personal issues (which can include poor character development)
  • and other factors (including what some call “sex addiction”)

What I find particularly interesting is that the people most affected are often the last to admit what is happening, while all those around can see quite clearly the sexual tension as it grows between the two people.

Is This the Workplace Spouse?

We could be describing the workplace spouse, but not necessarily. Sexual interest can occur with colleagues at the same level or across employee levels even as extreme as owner to maid, or manager to underling, even down several levels.

Even when there is non-verbal interest such as in the accompanying cartoon, one person has to actually cross the line with some kind of verbal or non-verbal invitation to take it to the next step. From the stories I have heard, this is usually some seemingly innocuous private meeting such as lunch or even being the last two lingering people after a company social or get-together at the bar.

Avoid Being the Unfaithful Spouse

Some readers will dismiss my recommendations as prudish, but these are based on my many years of working with couples trying to recover after a marital affair.

  • If you see someone attractive at work avoid the person’s company as much as possible.
  • Avoid being on a small committee together or having private meetings.
  • Don’t go to lunch together.
  • Be honest with yourself about being attracted to someone because it doesn’t have to be head-over-heels, but just a desire to be in that person’s company.
  • Avoid personal communication as much as possible. This means no private calls or texting and certainly no after-hours or non-business communication.
  • If you must be at a function together, leave as early as possible and go straight home.
  • If spouses are allowed to attend encourage your spouse to join you and be attentive to your spouse during the function.

I wish you all the strength and courage it takes to be faithful to your spouse and create a wonderful life-long marriage together.