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Is Electronics Hurting Your Marriage

Do you feel that you are not important to your spouse?

The fact is that electronics is hurting marriage and relationships. Do you ever feel that electronics, whether it is a cell phone, i-Pad, computer or TV, is hurting your marriage? Does texting, talking on the phone, watching TV or movies make you feel that you’re not important to your spouse and/or to your children. Do you let your spouse and your family know how important they are to you? I was married once before. My current wife and I have been married about 35 years. I was also single for years between the two marriages. While I was single between marriages, there was one woman I was dating steadily when I had to travel for several weeks to bring a sailboat down the East Coast. I called her when we hit land (that was before cell phones) and told her I would go directly to her house, over an hour’s drive. When I arrived at her house after two weeks on the ocean without sighting land, the first thing she did was to shush me because there was such a wonderful classic movie on the TV. Okay, that was in the days before video rentals and internet so she could not play it again, but, what was the message from her behavior? The TV and the movie were more important than I was.

You might have guessed that she is not the woman I married.

Around that time, I, myself, was also a TV addict and I did similar things to other friends, just not to women I was dating. No matter what was going on in the room, no matter who was there, if there was a TV on, eventually I would be glued to the screen. At that time in my life I used the external crutch of asking to turn the TV off, rather than having the internal self-management to ignore it.

Today, we are all inundated with electronics and other distractions.

My wife and I went to a café recently and watched other couples interact more frequently on their phones than with each other. There is one family we visit where the TV is always on, regardless of whether someone is watching or not. Each of their children has an iPad or other tablet and the parents are regularly checking their email or texting on the phone. All of this while we are supposedly “visiting.”” I can only imagine what must be when there is no company present. I’m afraid that in many households the family relationship is sitting in the same house while interacting with electronics. Think about how someone would describe his or her family evening: “We had real family time last night. My husband and I were on the couch together. I was watching a movie on my iPod with earbuds while my husband was watching the game on TV. We checked in with the children by text throughout the evening.”
Whoa! Do you see yourself anywhere in that picture?
Do you want to improve your marriage and your family life? Begin with your marriage:
  • Give your spouse the most expensive gift you can give.
  • The most treasured gift you can give is authentic, alert, undivided time together.
  • Time is our most valuable commodity.
  • It is worth more than money and jewels.
If you doubt that, ask someone who has a terminal diagnosis how valuable time is. Ask if he would rather be richer or live out a healthy, longer life. Really, each of us has a terminal diagnosis. It’s called life. It’s just that some of us are given more time than others. Don’t you want to give your spouse the most highly valued and precious gift you can? Wake up now and spend by giving of yourself and your time.

My warmest regards and best wishes for creating a wonderful marriage together,