The Power of Apology
Be More Generous with "I'm Sorry"
Saying “I’m Sorry” does not equal saying “I’m Wrong”.
Learn to be more generous with the words “I’m Sorry” Avoid the “I didn’t do anything wrong” defense by thinking of an apology in new terms:
If your behavior resulted in your spouse feeling hurt, disappointed or worried, wouldn’t you like to ease those feelings? Saying “I’m sorry that I caused your distress” is not admitting to being a bad person, but it can go a long way toward smoothing hurt feelings and preventing arguments or resentment.
If you know you did something wrong, admit it, apologize and move on. Some specifics:
TRY: “I’m sorry for what I did. It was wrong, and I regret that my mistake hurt you.”
AVOID: “Do you want me to apologize? Fine, I apologize!”
TRY: “I’m sorry that what I said hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to, and I don’t really understand your hurt. But I do understand that you ARE hurt by something I did (or said), and for that I am very sorry.”
AVOID: “I can’t believe you’re so upset about something so ridiculous. You shouldn’t be so sensitive.”
There really is no such thing as a wasted apology or one somebody didn’t deserve. You can apologize without losing face even though you are accepting blame for hurting your spouse’s feelings.
An apology is a simple gift of love. Give it often.
I wish you much success in using the power of apology to improve your marriage and communication.