Advice Blog / About

How is Halloween Like a Troubled Marriage?

Add Your Heading Text Here

Halloween is a time of masks and trying to scare people. It’s a fun time for children, who feel great pleasure when someone is “frightened” or amused by their costumes. Of course, not many children object to the candy or other treats, either.

Who is Behind the Mask?

Adults often use Halloween as a time to have a costume party, and sometimes it’s hard to know who is behind the mask.

Troubled marriages are often like Halloween costume parties. Thoughts and sometimes actions are going on secretly, often masquerading as loving or at least innocuous events. It would certainly be frightening for the other spouse to know what was truly going on behind the mask. The person with the inappropriate thinking might be getting some treats, mental or otherwise. The other spouse is being hurt by the “trick”, regardless of whether that person knows what is going on or not.

Avoid Destructive Thoughts: They Build in Strength Over Time

Shared and even private thoughts of trashing and criticizing your spouse are destructive to your marriage. Shared or private thoughts of leaving your spouse are destructive and can build up in strength over time, like a vicious cycle.

Don’t masquerade in your relationship. Confront your issues in the kindest way possible. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt whenever you question his or her behavior. Don’t assume the worst before you even talk.

Focus on Your Strengths

Focus on your strengths together‚ what brought the two of you together in the first place. Find aspects of your spouse to admire and compliment out loud. If you are not being affectionate with each other, figure out how to re-introduce verbal and physical affection and love-making.

I wish you wonderful success in creating a surprisingly wonderful Halloween for the two of you.