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No Longer in Love

I Love You but I Am Not in Love With You Anymore

What do you do when your spouse says to you, “I love you but I’m not ‘in love’ with you anymore?”

Diminished or Forgotten Love

I often hear a spouse say, “I love you but I’m not ‘in love’ with you anymore.” Too often marriages settle down and the feelings that were once experienced develop on a different level. That hot, intense and fiery passion dwindles.

Many Reasons for Losing the “Fire”

That fire can be snuffed out by any combination of:

  • kids
  • finances
  • work
  • physical condition
  • extramarital interest
  • actual infidelity
  • and family issues

Remember the Early Love

Can you remember back to the beginning of your relationship when you saw your partner sleeping and were filled with feelings of almost uncontainable love? Too often, those feelings morph and what was once that uncontainable love-excitement turns into ‘ho-hum’ and taking each other for granted.

Brother-Sister Syndrome

Sometimes being taken for granted and the changes through the years creates what I refer to as the brother-sister syndrome.

You love your spouse and say to yourself you would never want to hurt that person, but you feel like you are no longer “in love” with the person you married.

If this has happened to you, you might be thinking your marriage is over because, after all, how can you get your passion back.

Your Love is Still Present

What you are overlooking is that your love is probably still present. Your spark is still there. It is not dead. You just haven’t nurtured it.

I would also guess that you have built-up anger and resentment that you have been stockpiling for years and they cover up your loving feelings.

All of these factors work collectively against passionate love in your marriage, and make you feel as if the sexual heat of your marriage were dead. You don’t need to throw away your relationship. You need to learn new relationship skills so you can restore your relationship.

Learning New Relationship Skills

You could start by trying to rekindle the love in your marriage, or by signing up for a free marriage ecourse.

You can also contact me to learn about attending either marriage counseling or marriage retreats. Another choice is looking into my self-help marriage programs.

As always, I wish you all the best on your road to a wonderful marriage.