Dealing With Jealousy
How to Deal With Jealousy From Your Spouse
Learn how to deal with marital jealousy from your spouse and build trust and security in your relationship with this free marriage advice. If your spouse shows excessive jealousy, you may be able to reduce the harmful effects by making some changes in your own behavior.
Where do you draw the line in changing your behavior? That’s something only you can decide. But no matter what you decide to do (or don’t do), you might reduce the harmful effects of jealousy by reassuring your spouse in certain ways.
Reassure Your Spouse to Reduce Jealousy
Ask About The Source of Jealousy, and Try To Understand
Ask your spouse about the source of jealousy and try to understand those feelings. This is not the same as agreeing that you did anything wrong.
You can say to your spouse, “I understand that you feel jealous when I go out to lunch with X” without agreeing that going out to lunch is wrong. It could reassure your spouse, hearing that you understand these feelings of jealousy, rather than discounting them with a statement such as “You have no reason to be jealous.”
Remind Your Spouse of Your Love and Attraction
Remind your spouse of your love and attraction for him or her. Maybe your spouse’s jealousy has nothing to do with your behavior; your spouse may simply feel inadequate in your eyes. In this case also, reassurance is more helpful than discounting the jealousy.
A statement such as “I love you and find you incredibly sexy” works better than “You’re being ridiculous. Your jealousy is YOUR problem, not mine.”
Demonstrate Your Spouse’s Importance To You
Demonstrate your spouse’s importance to you – create a sense of specialness. Maybe you haven’t done anything to make your spouse jealous, but maybe you are guilty of ignoring or neglecting your spouse’s needs. If so, it’s time to SHOW your spouse how much you care.
Use Jealousy to Develop Trust, Safety and Security
If you listen to your spouse’s feelings about jealousy – without judging those feelings – and offer reassurance without undermining your self-worth, then jealousy could be a pathway to developing trust, safety and security in your relationship.
All the best in finding the path to a jealousy-free marriage. Sincerely,