Rekindle the Romance in Your Marriage
This is the second part of an article to help couples who feel they've lost that loving feeling in their marriages. Please also see:
You've Lost the Loving Feeling? You Can Get it Back.
You Can Fix Your Unhappy Marriage
If your out-of-love spouse is willing to work with you to rekindle romance in your marriage, you're probably wondering what to do. Let me answer your concern with some suggestions to rekindle your marriage.
In many cases it is helpful to be direct and ask specifically for what you want without criticizing your spouse. Put on a friendly attitude and voice when you speak with your partner.
When you rekindle marriage, your approach will depend on how damaged your relationship is; for example, whether or not infidelity is involved.
If you are on good, friendly terms, you might try requests similar to the following:
- Will you spend 15 minutes with me after you get home from work?
- I want some alone time with you.
- Will you sit with me for maybe ½ an hour after we put the children to bed?
If you trust the good intentions of your spouse:
- You might try a candlelit dinner or breakfast in bed.
- Can you arrange a moonlight walk?
- Do you watch TV or movies together? If so, touch, hold hands, lean your head on his or her shoulder.
Think about what your spouse wants in "a" relationship, in your relationship. If you don't know, find out through discussion. Be patient-you may have been told a hundred times over the years and you were not listening-imagine your spouse's frustration now.
Avoid criticism in your talks, so don't say, "You never talk to me anymore. I must really bore you."
Don't criticize your spouse or yourself. You want to attract your spouse to rekindle desire, rather than chase him or her away.
Some relationships are beyond what you can repair yourself without expert intervention.
If you've lost that loving feeling in your marriage and want to learn more ways to bring back passion and romance see:
If your marriage has deteriorated beyond these suggestions, and you want to work with me, call for an appointment. I do telephone counseling or I could see you in my office in Baltimore, Maryland. My fees are based on $260 per hour. Local: 410.654.1300 or toll-free: 1.866.654.1300.
If my fees don't work for you and you want marriage help to understand step-by-step how to put these ideas into practice, I refer you to my programs. See the links to the left in the box titled Books by Dr. Gunzburg. The first 2 programs are free. The second 2 programs are downloadable books that you can print out. And the last two programs are downloadable MP3 audio programs.
