Marriage Advice On How To Handle Jealousy
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Marriage Advice on How to Handle Jealousy

The following marriage advice will help you to handle jealousy from your spouse and show you a way to build trust and security in your relationship. If your spouse exhibits signs of excessive jealousy, you may be able to reduce the harmful effects of jealousy by altering your behavior. Where do you draw the line in changing your behavior? That’s something only you can decide. But no matter what you decide to do (or don’t do), you can reduce the harmful effects of jealousy by reassuring your spouse in the following ways:
 
  • Ask your spouse about the source of jealousy and try to understand those feelings. This is not the same as agreeing that you did anything wrong. You can say to your spouse, “I understand that you feel jealous when I go out to lunch with X” without agreeing that going out to lunch is wrong. It will reassure your spouse, hearing that you understand these feelings of jealousy, rather than discounting them with a statement such as “You have no reason to display so much jealousy.”
  • Remind your spouse of your love and attraction. Maybe your spouse’s jealousy has nothing to do with your behavior – your spouse may simply feel inadequate – but, again, reassurance is more helpful than discounting the jealousy. A statement such as “I love you and find you incredibly sexy” works better than “You’re being ridiculous. Your jealousy is YOUR problem, not mine.”
  • Demonstrate your spouse’s importance to you—create a sense of specialness. Maybe you haven’t done anything to make your spouse jealous, but maybe you are guilty of ignoring or neglecting your spouse’s needs. If so, it’s time to SHOW your spouse how much you care.
If you listen to your spouse’s feelings about jealousy – without judging those feelings – and offer reassurance without undermining your self-worth, then jealousy can be a pathway to developing trust, safety and security in your relationship.

Want to learn more about jealousy? Perhaps you missed Are You Overly Jealous?, Are You Feeling Jealous? , Are You Provoking Jealousy?
 

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you feel your marriage has deteriorated beyond these suggestions, please go to the section on Stop Divorce
 
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