How Can You Tell The Difference Between Good and Bad Jealousy?
Jealousy, in small doses, can be good for
a relationship, but jealousy can often be
harmful. Are you too jealous? Is your spouse
too jealous? How can you tell the difference
between “good” jealousy and
“bad” jealousy, and what can
you do to keep jealousy from destroying
the trust in your marriage?
How to Tell if YOU are Overly Jealous
If you and your spouse are at a party and
your spouse is engaged in an animated (but
in no way inappropriate) conversation with
someone of the opposite sex, do you feel
a twinge of jealousy, an urge to rush to
your spouse’s side? Do you resist
the immediate impulse but, within the next
few minutes, rejoin your mate and whisper
a sexy compliment?
This, probably, is a sign of “good”
jealousy, proof that there’s passion
in your relationship. The desire to protect
your marriage is healthy, and reminding
your spouse of your attraction in a positive
way will strengthen your relationship.
If, on the other hand, you feel angry with
your spouse for socializing at a party (since
that’s what a party typically involves)
or furious with the person talking to your
spouse, then your jealousy is unreasonable.
If you act on your jealous feelings –
accuse your spouse of flirting, for instance
– this jealousy could lead to damaging
mistrust.
But what if your spouse is provoking your
jealousy – intentionally or not? Isn’t
justified jealousy also healthy? This depends
on how you handle your feelings. Jealousy
is an early warning sign that detects potential
threats to your relationship. If you believe
you have good reason to be jealous, talking
about it with your spouse is important and
may protect your marriage. Just keep in
mind that the way you talk about your feelings
can help or harm your relationship.
If you are feeling jealous, ask yourself
the following question: Is my spouse doing
something to make me this jealous, or am
I over-reacting?
Want to learn more about how to handle your
jealousy or your spouse’s jealousy?
Read
Are You Feeling Jealous?
Or
Is jealousy a problem for your spouse? Is
your spouse’s jealousy driving you
crazy? Find out how to cope with a jealousy-prone
partner at
Are You Provoking Jealousy?
Are you ready
to learn more about jealousy and how it may
be affecting your relationship? Read How To Handle Jealousy
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