So You Had An Affair And You Want to Repair Your Marriage
Cheating on your spouse creates a serious trust deficit
in your marriage, but infidelity can be
the beginning of a better-than-ever relationship.
If you are guilty of an extramarital affair, you have
to repay the debt of your infidelity.
If your spouse cheated on you, find out
how to survive your spouse’s infidelity
by reading
You’ve Been Betrayed By Your Spouse Having An Affair
If you cheated on your spouse, here are
some ways you can overcome infidelity and repair your marriage.
How to Repay the Debt of Infidelity
and Create a Stronger-than-ever Marriage
if you were the one who cheated:
1. End the affair and sever
all contact with the lover
Why does this even need to be mentioned?
End the infidelity? Of course!
But it doesn’t always happen that
way. A spouse discovers an infidelity and
the cheating spouse responds:
“Maybe it’s better if we separate
for awhile so I can sort things out.”
What this amounts to is putting yourself
(the one who cheated) on the auction block
and forcing your lover and spouse to out-bid
each other.
You don’t inspire confidence or renew
loving feelings with your spouse by asking
your mate to not only forgive your transgression
but to actively enter a competition with
the other man or woman.
What’s even more damaging is if you
end an infidelity only after your lover
dumps you. Your spouse doesn’t win
you, he or she gets stuck with you!
It’s important that your spouse knows
immediately that there is only one choice
– your spouse and your marriage.
2. Be willing to listen to your
spouse express hurt feelings about the infidelity.
This can be especially difficult for men,
not because they are indifferent but because
they find it too painful. Realizing the
hurt they’ve caused their wives through
infidelity is more than they can bear.
Nonetheless, it’s part of the process.
The wounded spouse – man or woman
– needs to express hurt feelings about
the infidelity and the offending spouse
needs to listen.
If you’re guilty of infidelity, accept
the fact that your spouse is going to resent
you, feel betrayed by you – and needs
to tell you this. .
Listen without being defensive. Don’t
try to justify your infidelity – avoid
comments such as “you never paid enough
attention to me” or “who could
blame me the way you treat me?”
3. Survive Infidelity by meeting
your spouse’s emotional needs
In order to survive infidelity, you marriage
has to improve, become better than ever.
Your efforts in this regard are to strive
to meet all of your spouse’s emotional
needs – for companionship, for sexual
fulfillment, for conversation, for family
commitment, for financial security –
the whole list.
Make your spouse feel more loved than he
or she has ever felt loved before, and the
pain of the infidelity will instead create
a path toward marital bliss.
Want to learn more about how to save your
marriage after infidelity? See the articles
on
Honesty,
Lost
That Loving Feeling,
Jealousy,
Apologize
Did you miss
Infidelity Destroys Trust
?
