Hi, I am Dr. Gunzburg. Finding a marriage counselor who can work well with you and be committed to your marriage can be a difficult task.
Qualifications to Give Marriage Help? In Some Cases, NONE
What qualifies someone to give you marriage help? How can you trust a stranger with your most precious secrets and problems? Should you choose a licensed marriage professional or someone who professes to be an expert without qualifications other than his own life experiences?
Bad News: NO National Requirements for Marriage Counselors
This means anyone on the internet can claim to help you fix your marriage, and charge you for it - even your garbage man.
While you're in the process of finding a marriage counselor, you need to know that some of the most prominent websites for marriage repair offer a variety of programs--from CDs and live sessions to weekend boot camps--with people who are marketing experts with no training in psychology, behavior, personality, relationships or counseling. Some call this a "Marriage Counseling Alternative" in order to avoid calling themselves counselors, which may be regulated by their state laws. Once you've gotten your marriage back on track, you could even advertise YOURSELF as an expert because you know all about marital problems from your own marriage.
These marketing experts are trained in selling products effectively. In this case, the product is help for your troubled marriage. What are their credentials? By self-report, these marketers say they solved their own marital difficulties and now think they know how to solve yours, as if there were one mold for all problems.
Good News: State Requirements for Licensing Marriage Counselors
Most states have rigorous licensing procedures for people who want to practice marriage counseling within the state.
In most states, this requires a license as a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, or one of a few other professions, varying from state to state. Even with these requirements, people can get around the law by saying they provide "marriage help" or refer to "not a marriage counselor."
Why does it take someone with years of graduate-school training and supervision (e.g. a psychologist) to provide marriage
counseling or marriage therapy?
You want someone well-trained in both normal and abnormal human behavior and with a broad background in behavioral and personality change. You need someone who can put your issues and problems into a proper context and recognize if there is more than a marital issue involved.
You also want someone who has been screened by a board of his professional peers for both character and knowledge, and is always held to the highest ethical standards by that board.
Accountability & Responsibility
There is NO accountability or responsibility for self-proclaimed "Marriage Counseling Alternatives". This means they can do WHATEVER they want to you, your marriage, your spouse and your information, and you can do NOTHING to stop them, short of normal legal proceedings.
Licensed marriage counselors, such as psychologists and psychiatrists who do relationship counseling, have an examining board that oversees their ethical standards, character and degree of knowledge. If a person suspects a marriage counselor to have overstepped boundaries, or to have done something harmful or wrong, that individual can report the person to his/her examining board. When the board deems it appropriate, they can even restrict or invalidate the license to practice.
Can I Trust My Counselor?
When seeing psychologists (and psychiatrists), you can always call his/her examining board and find out if there is any complaint against that psychologist or psychiatrist. In addition, there are professional associations such as the American Psychological Association or the American Psychiatric Association that accept complaints. If a complaint is registered, these organizations report to the state board and also pursue the case, even to the point of ousting someone from the organization.
What happens if one of those marketing guys does something wrong or if you have a complaint? Whom do you call?
There is no examining board to call because he did not have to pass any examination, He did not have to demonstrate to a professional board that he is a person of good character.
There is no professional group to hold him to ethical standards because there are no ethical standards.
His only test is if he can get you to purchase his product: marriage help services or other programs.
There is no license to take away because he has none. There is no professional association to call because
there is none.
How could you go about finding out if there are any complaints against him? There is no one to call.
Perhaps, you could check with the Better Business Bureau, but there is no requirement that they be notified and
they don't check legal proceedings, and you might not locate the correct branch to obtain the information even
if they had complaints.
I know this is a struggle for you to find the right person to work with. There are so many considerations and you are putting the life of your marriage in someone else's hand.
I send my best wishes for you to find the right counselor to work with, and I wish you complete success in creating a better-than ever marriage.
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