Hello. I am Frank Gunzburg and I want to answer some of your questions about me and about getting help for your
marriage.
In thinking about what you would want to know, I thought about giving you my resume which, I believe,
most therapists would do with this page. Then I realized you are probably more interested in knowing why you should use my services or
products versus all of the others available.
Do you want to know why I am so committed to marriages?
I am in my second marriage. My first marriage lasted about five years. We had a painful divorce. It was primarily
because of my own immaturity and ignorance about what makes a good marriage. If I knew then what I know now, I would
have been able to prevent divorce. Almost four years after my divorce, I met my current wife and we have been married about
30 years. I learned and continue to learn a lot about good relationships and about good marriages over those years.
With each passing year I learn more about healthy marriages and marriage solutions, both personally and professionally, which leads me to be more committed to the concept of marriage and
to helping others learn and apply what I have learned. This has been a personal and professional growth track with
each side strengthening the other.
With that understanding about why I do this, let me provide information about what is important in locating marriage
help, and then I will tell you how that applies to me.
What qualifies someone to give you marriage help? How can you trust a stranger with your most precious secrets
and problems?
Here is the bad news: there are no national requirements for anyone who wants to provide marriage counseling.
In fact, some of the most prominent websites for marriage repair offer a variety of programs from CDs and live
sessions to weekend boot camps with people who are marketing experts with no training in relationships or in marriage
counseling. You could even advertise yourself as an expert because you know all about marital problems. These
marketing experts are trained in developing packaging for, creating interest in, and selling products. In this case,
the product is help for your troubled marriage. What are their credentials? By self-report, these marketers say they
solved their own marital difficulties and now think they know how to solve yours.
Now, the good news: there are state requirements for providing marriage counseling. In most states, this
requires a license as a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, or one of a few other professions, varying from
state to state.
Why does it take someone with years of graduate-school training, a psychologist, for example, to provide marriage
counseling? Because you want someone well-trained in human behavior-both in normal behavior and abnormal behavior.
You want someone who can put your issues and problems into a proper context. You also want someone who has been
screened by a board of his professional peers for both character and knowledge, and is always held to the highest
ethical standards by that board.
If a psychologist or psychiatrist does anything wrong, for example, you can report him to his examining board and
they will pursue your case, even to the point of taking away his license, if appropriate. In fact, you can always
call his board and find out if there is any complaint against a particular psychologist or psychiatrist because the
examining board collects all complaints, if any. In addition, there are professional associations such as the
American Psychological Association or the
American Psychiatric Association that accept complaints. If a complaint
is registered, these organizations report to the state board and also pursue the case, even to the point of ousting
someone from the organization.
What happens if one of those marketing guys does something wrong or if you have a complaint? Whom do you call?
There is no examining board to call because he did not have to pass any examination, He did not have to demonstrate to a professional board that he is a person of good character.
There is no professional group to hold him to ethical standards because there are no ethical standards and there is
no board of examiners to maintain or enforce any standards.
His only test is if he can get you to purchase his product: marriage help services or other programs.
There is no license to take away because he has none. There is no professional association to call because
there is none.
How could you go about finding out if there are any complaints against him? There is no one to call.
Perhaps, you could check with the Better Business Bureau, but there is no requirement that they be notified and
they don't check legal proceedings, and you might not locate the correct branch to obtain the information even
if they had complaints.
In over 30 years of practice, there has never been a complaint against me. You can call the Psychology Board and
verify that information. I am also a member in good standing of the American Psychological Association-you could
call them and ask about me, too.
The Maryland Psychology Board requires a doctorate degree and two years of experience before you can be licensed.
In Maryland, psychologists must take continuing education throughout their careers in order to remain licensed.
A significant part of doctoral training is learning about personality. Psychologists are trained in normal and
abnormal aspects of personality and the development of personality-including factors that affect it in both good
ways and bad. Moreover, doctorate-level training is also heavily weighted with the evaluation and treatment of
personality, mental and behavioral problems and other psychological disorders.
This training, when combined with over 30 years of experience, gives me an immense database of problems and solutions. If you present me with your
relationship that was violated by marital infidelity, for example, there are many factors that can influence the
survivability of your marriage. Some of these factors will be obvious to you, and some not.
You benefit from my experience with all of the other individuals and couples I have worked with when I evaluate and work with your
particular situation. From what I can gather regarding other therapists with similar years of experience, we have
considerable overlap in what we tell clients with troubled relationships.
What makes us each unique is the beliefs we hold, the emphasis each of us places on one relationship aspect
versus another and the way each of us presents and applies the information to your relationship problems.
Some marriage counselors are passive while others are more directive. I am on the more directive side. I don't just
sit back and let you argue or flounder-you've probably been doing too much of that anyway. This brings me to my
beliefs which directly impact the way I help relationships in trouble.
These are some of my beliefs that might differ from what you experience elsewhere.
I believe it is important to live up to your highest character and ethics. Frequently, clients tell me that other marriage counselors justified or
excused unethical behavior.
I believe it is important to work out your marriage relationship, if you are married. Often, I hear about other
counselors who begin treatment saying something like "I will consider this successful treatment whether you stay
together or divorce." I take a clear stand for your marriage.
I believe it is important to learn how to not feel anger in the first place. Clients tell me that they were
instructed by other counselors to "Let your anger out; don't bottle up your feelings."
I don't mean that when you are angry you don't show it; rather, I intend to teach you how to avoid feeling angry so
there is nothing to cover up. I believe that partners should be best friends to each other and not treat each other
like enemies.
I believe it is important in counseling to learn good communication skills with each other and to have practice
discussing personally difficult issues with each other under my guidance. The message I hear too often goes something
like "We got really good at talking to the marriage counselor and telling her our problems, but we never felt that
our communication with each other improved."
These are some of my beliefs that I apply in working with your marriage problems.
The particular schools I went to are not as important as what I can do to help your relationship. However, let me
fill you in on those details. My Bachelor's (BS) and Master's (MS) degrees are from Virginia Commonwealth University (Richmond, VA)
and my Doctor's (PhD) degree is from American University (Washington, DC).
I live with my wife and two children in Baltimore, Maryland. My other four children are adults and live independently. We have six grandchildren and counting. I am the first person in my family born in the United States. I was raised in Richmond, VA. My personal interests include nutrition and other health-related subjects, crafts, computers, photography, recreational reading, and outdoor activities including bicycling and walking.
My office is in Pikesville, Maryland, which is part of Baltimore and near Owings Mills and I do telephone counseling with people across the country and around the globe. Do you want to find out more about how I would work with your marriage difficulties? Read the rest of this website to find out.
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